It Depends

I don’t think of myself as a “sick person.” I talked it over with my best friend, and we decided I have a “condition.” We also decided that if I ever get married she would be my maid of honor, even though she’s married, because we both think “matron” is an ugly word.

It’s all about priorities.

Anyone who goes from being a normal, healthy person one day will feel a little funny being a “sick person” the next day. I go to a hospital every month for a 4-hour infusion of intravenous immunoglobulins. And still, I sit there and look at the people getting the same infusions in the chairs around me and think, “Wow, look at all these sick people!”

My grandmother used to talk about the Old People in her assisted living facility. Many of these people were in their 80s. She was already 90. And yet, they were old people. So I guess it’s all a matter of perception.

[On a side note, she once told me that you could always spot the person wearing adult diapers because their butt would appear to be perfectly flat. Now, I don’t know if I’ll ever be on a game show where the final question is: “Which one of these two people is wearing Depends?” But if I am, I will give a shout-out to my late Grandma Celia and thank heaven for the wisdom of the Old People.]